In a year-long experiment, #365LoveNotesToSelf is a project about finding love by giving oneself the gifts of time and looking deeply, one day at a time. #365LoveNotesToSelf is also part of the “Selfie” exhibition on at Candid Arts Trust, London from 23 February to 4th March 2018.
I am here and now
What started as a last-ditch effort to make myself feel better from encroaching depression, I kept at it for a year and in time, developed a pattern of self-love, perseverance, and mindfulness that continues today. I learned how to give myself a break and be flexible (some days it’s just not possible to stick to the plan so learned to make a new one!) I discovered I do have the determination and stamina for a long project (when in the past, I would often run out of steam half-way through). And even though I had a few days here and there with a low mood, it is with joy and pride when I say I can’t remember the last time I felt depression actually take hold.
It’s been a year and I feel like I’m just at the beginning. Stay tuned!
It’s that time of year again and maybe it’s the weather… but I’m sure I’m not alone when I say, I am in a deep blue funk. So for Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to give myself a little gift: an envelope of time that contains a kind of “love note to me”, by which I will remind myself daily of what love looks like – by gazing in a mirror and drawing what I see.
For in order to really see, one must spend time really looking.
I’ve chosen to create self-portraits (instead of, say, making selfies on my iPhone) because in these creative sessions, I must take the time to really look in order to draw what’s looking back at me…and maybe, after 365 of these love notes in a row, it will become easier day-by-day to see through any of the dark days, with positivity, confidence, and joy.
In today’s image, I see quirky, bright, and fun-loving; now, I don’t know what other forms my selfie-portraits will take over the rest of the year, but in words of one of my heroes, RuPaul, here’s what I do know for sure:
“If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”
(if video doesn’t auto-play, click to watch vimeo here: https://vimeo.com/112634742 )
Dream of the Rat Race 1 (No Exit), 2014, projected digital video, 2:23 (looped)
A short looping video in which I engage with this office space as my memory of my own prior office career… That 20 years always felt like kind of a trap, or like Sartre’s “no exit”… The viewer can be part of this nightmare; as they stand in front of the projection, their shadow becomes included in the memory of that former life…around and around never really getting anywhere…
Installation view at Office Sessions III: Office Party
Exhibition details: “Office Sessions III” is at Anchorage House, 2 Clove Crescent, E14 2BE (East India on the DLR).
“Office Sessions III” is open to the public on all three floors (4-6) on the following dates:
27 November 2014: 6:30 PM – 10:00 PM
29 November 2014: 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM
30 November 2014: 11:00 AM – 3:00 PM
Please note there is also a performance piece by Kelise Franclemont scheduled on this date from 11AM, “Right to Movement Rat Race (an exercise in subjectivity and space)”, so look out for the marathon runners (and maybe stick around to cheer them on)!
in Live in your dreams! exhibit at The Crypt Gallery, St Pancras
From 26 February through 2 March 2014, I’ll be doing a drawing/performance piece called “limn reveries”, in a group exhibition “Live in your Dreams!” at The Crypt Gallery, St Pancras Church, Euston, London. The exhibition is curated by Stéphane Verlet-Bottéro, whose research and interests are focused on curation as well as making his own work related to art and science.
Which is just an old fashioned way of saying, I’m recording dreams… Basically, what I’ll be doing is attempting to achieve a quasi-meditative state under which I’ll conduct “automatic” (or subconscious) drawing. The thinking behind the exercise is to listen to meditation sound tracks, whereby I can “open up” my subconscious and access the rich imagery there, and then record or draw what I see.